I'm Just A Kid
by Torixx
Summary: Angsty ChibiNaruto songfic. An eight year old Naruto wonders just what is wrong with him to make everyone hate him. Mild cussing Fword is in the song lyrics. Didn't have a summary in mind when I wrote this, can you tell? OneShot


Miri: Got inspired while listening to Simple Plan's I'm Just A Kid song, which totally fits ChibiNaruto. Don't lie, it does. Anyways, this is what I wrote, beware Angst. 

Disclaimer: Naruto copyright Kishimoto and I'm Just A Kid copyright Simple Plan.

An alarm clock blared in his ear, and the sleepy eight-year old groaned, rolling over and hitting the snooze button. "Five more minutes…" He mumbled, to no one in particular. As it always had been, he was the only one in the apartment anyways.

Exactly ten minutes later, the alarm clock blared again, and the sleepy, tanned hand that shot out to shut it up missed, knocked over some old packages of instant noodles, and called a retreat. A moment later the defeat and tired form of a shaggy blond haired boy emerged, a sleeping cap pushing normally spiky blond locks down flat, hiding tired blue eyes.

**I woke up it was seven **

**I waited till eleven **

**Just to figure out that no one would call**

**I think I got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them **

**What's another night all alone?  
**

**When your spending everyday on your own And here it goes**

Barely half an hour later he had showered and eaten breakfast--more instant noodles--and was pulling on clothes that he assumed were clean. That is, clothes that didn't smell bad. He stood anxiously by the window as he pulled on blue jeans under the white t-shirt, looking out, waiting for one of the many kids around his age that swarmed in the streets on the summer day to come to his door, and invite him out to play.

**I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare **

**I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair **

**Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is **

**Having more fun than me **

**Tonight...**

It wouldn't happen, of course, and that much was confirmed to him when he spied two of the boys standing on the sidewalk, pointing towards the window he was standing in. He recognized one, but not the other, and assumed yet another possible new friend was being destroyed before he had a chance, by nasty rumors and stories that he never quite half-heard.

Dejectedly, the blond slid on his sandals, locking the door to his apartment and walking outside, down the stairs. He'd go to the park and play, it didn't seem like _everyone_ there hated him. Occasionally he'd even get someone to play with him.

Yeah, the park sounded good. He could always swing on the swings if no one would play with him, anyways.

**And maybe when the night is dead, I'll crawl into my bed **

**Staring at these four walls again **

**I'll try to think about the last time, I had a good time **

**Everyone's got somewhere to go **

**And they're gonna leave me here on my own and here it goes**

Hours later he collapsed into bed, face streaked with dirt, eyes burning from unshed tears. Sure, the day had been wonderful, no one tried to drop flower pots on him from third-or-fourth story windows while he walked to the park, and someone there had actually agreed to let him play in the sandbox with them.

Then his new friend's parents had come over, and given the kid a scolding about playing with a 'monster'. Like he wasn't even there! Innocent blue eyes had filled with tears, as the tanned blond stared down at the sand around his feet, before giving it a solid kick, the sand castle he had been building collapsing. After that he had run home, words like 'monster' and 'disgrace' floating through his head.

**I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare **

**I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair **

**Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is **

**Having more fun than me**

His life was always a nightmare, the words people whispered about him echoing through his head. The threats they posed to him, the dirty looks. It was all too much for any eight-year-old to handle, and he didn't know how he managed it, day in and day out. While other kids his age could have fun and go to the park and be loved by their parents he was shunned, frowned upon, occasionally openly threatened.

And he didn't even know why. Because he didn't have parents? That didn't seem like a reason to hate a person. Orphans always seemed to him like the deserved pity. Then again, he'd rather have hate than pity. But he'd rather have friends than be hated.

**What the fuck is wrong with me?  
**  
**Don't fit in with anybody **

**How did this happen to me?  
**  
**Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep **

**And every night is the worst night ever**

"So what's wrong with me?" He asked himself, looking in the mirror. "Because my hair is blond? Because my eyes are blue?" He leaned closer, fingers tracing the scars on his round cheeks. Something seemed to flash behind his eyes, there and gone in a second, so he pulled on his pajama top and left the small bathroom.

Flopping unceremoniously onto the bed, he stared up at the ceiling, feeling wide-awake. And bored, really bored. His eyes shifted over to his calendar, and he blinked, once, twice, then sat up. "That's right, I start at the Academy tomorrow. Maybe I can make friends there." The blond thought, smiling, his whole visage brightening. "I'd better get to sleep, so I can pay attention in class." He told himself, flopping down again, turning off the light and closing his eyes.

**I'm just a kid**

**I'm just a kid **

**I'm just a kid **

**I'm just a kid **

**I'm just a kid **

**I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare **

**I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair **

**Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is **

**Nobody wants to be alone in the world.**

His dreams were troubled, as they often were, different things that flitted through his subconscious too fast for him to understand. Flashes of silver, a lot of red, feelings of violence and death. Struggle. Hintsof yellow, a gruesome looking sight that he couldn't identify.

Then white, lots of white. And then his alarm clock was going off again.

**I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare **

**I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair **

**Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is **

**Nobody wants to be alone in the world **

**Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is **

**Having more fun than me tonight**

The first day at the Academy wasn't horrible. He showed up late and got a Look from the teacher, but the man didn't directly try to attack him. When he was forced to sit next to someone, they didn't move over to the other side of the room, only inched over so that he had closer to half the bench to himself, instead of simply a third.

He could live with that.

Then lunch had come, and as he had sat down outside, trying to join a group of excited young ninja-to-be, conversation around him had stopped, and they had all stared.

Finally one boy, seeming to be the leader of the small group, stood up and walked over to him, standing in front of him, towering. "Is it true that you're a monster, like my mom says?" The boy had asked, cocking his head to one side.

Unsure how to respond, the blond boy shook his head rapidly, going back to his lunch--instant noodles.

"Oiy, leave 'im alone, Kiba. Too troublesome to start in on that." One boy had called, and the blond had dared a glance upwards. He recognized the kid from class, the only one who had been able to sit still the whole morning--mostly because he was asleep. Next to him was a chubby boy, with a large lunch, probably home made with plenty of care from the boy's mom.

"Yeah." Chubby said now, pausing in his eat of his third or fourth bag of chips. "Besides, didn't your mom tell you not to talk about it?"

He supposed that Chubby and Sleepy were being nice, shutting up Annoying (his personal nicknames for the three). Except that they were talking about him like he wasn't there, or wasn't anyone important.

"Oh, no, really. Don't worry about it." He called, a big, fake smile on his face. "Everyone says I'm a monster, so I guess I must be." He added, standing up, leaving his instant noodles on the ground, still grinning, eyes squinted shut to hide his tears. "Anyways, nice eating with you, I think I'll go over there now." He waved vaguely, before turning, walking away. He could feel eyes on him, so he began to run, rounding the corner of the Academy building. Finally stopping, he looked around, saw he was alone, and also saw a swing tied to a sturdy-looking tree branch. Walking over, the blond sat down, straddling the wooden plank that served as a seat.

"I really am a monster, huh?" He asked himself, softly, tilting his head down. He wouldn't cry, he wouldn't, he _wouldn't_. Except he was, tears finding their way steadily down his cheeks, as he made some soft sniffling noises.

**I'm all alone tonight **

**Nobody cares tonight **

**Cause I'm just a kid tonight**

So that night, his face streaked with dirt from playing in the sandbox at the park after classes, two clean tracks making their way through the as he looked in the mirror, the boy realized he was crying again, and resolutely shook his head. He wouldn't cry, there was no point. He looked up at the mirror again, eyes bright with tears, but not dripping them, and offered himself a big smile. It looked fake, so he though of something happy--_new flavor of ramen, someone talked to me today and didn't say anything mean, someone actually almost smiled at me the other day_--and tried again. This time it looked real. _That's all I've gotta do, then. Think of happy things and I'll be happy. Maybe then I'll make some friends._

That in mind, he washed his face, turned into his bedroom, and fell into the bed. This time, instead of staying awake for hours staring at the ceiling, he fell promptly asleep.

Aww, don't you feel sorry for ChibiNaruto? I do. I tried to, like, show how he got the mask of 'happy idiot' instead of being 'angsting teen', and basically another Sasuke. It seems like it would happen that way anyways.

Sorry for the lack of putting in names, but it just didn't seem right with them. Besides, I like to challenge myself, and it was a challenge to not use Naruto's name every other time I wanted to say he did/said something.

If you're wondering, Sleepy is Shikamaru, Chubby is Chouji, and Annoying is Kiba, but I guess you knew that one.

Please review with input/advice. Rather don't like flames, but if you feel you must…


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